Patriots,
I know this was a hectic week for us given the peaceful protests in Washington, but SOMETHING ELSE MAJOR happened in the meantime. Kentucky Fried Chicken has given into the pressures of the other (mainstream) chicken restaurants and replaced their chicken sandwich with a new one. IT. IS. HORRIBLE!!!!
Every week, several of the guys and I go to our local Kentucky Friend Chicken (store 182) after our weekly meetings to complain about AOC, and we all get chicken sandwiches - we have to be some of the biggest customers in South Dakota. You would think they would’ve consulted us before making a change like this. We all thought the new sandwich was GROSS and not nearly as good as their existing product.
You want to know the worst part about their new sandwich? They went from using all white chicken breast to “occasionally adding some dark meat”. Are you effing serious?! This movement to add some color to everything has gone too far!! What happened to the sanctity of the “Original Recipe”?? When did society decide to stop respecting the documents that build this nation?! Next thing you know they’re going to add a twelfth herb or spice just to be inclusive - probably coriander or something foreign like that.
Get this. Here’s the best part: I went and talked to the manager of store 182, Chris, and he told me even he didn’t understand why they changed the chicken sandwich either. As a matter of fact, Chris said it’s just a test run and the results will speak for themselves. Don’t you think it’s odd that they would do this against the wishes of our local KFC representative, Chris?? They will likely try and rig the numbers to show more sandwiches have been eaten in order to keep this new recipe around, but we must make it CLEAR that we HATE it.
And for those of you asking - yeah, I did try and let corporate know. I sent them a strongly worded message on Twitter:
Wanna know what they replied? “Thanks for the feedback - Alexis” What kind of customer service is THAT? Alexis could learn a thing or two about how to be respectful and professional online - what does “thanks for the feedback” even mean?!
To be quite frank I’m quite concerned that my concerns are not being taken seriously by Alexis, and given our success this week, I have booked my flight to Kentucky and will be marching on their corporate office next Tuesday. I will not stop until I am face to face with the director of marketing and get what I want!! I ask any other patriots who are passionate about this sandwich to join me. My friends who go to KFC with me every week said they didn’t have it in the budget to make this trip to Kentucky, so for the moment it’s just me, but I know that my fellow patriots will support me in the fight against this nonsense and we will have STRENGTH IN NUMBERS!! Once you try this terrible new sandwich that violates the oath of The Original Recipe you will see why I’m as furious as I am.
I hate that it has come to this, as Kentucky Fried Chicken is undoubtedly my favorite chain chicken restaurant in the area, but we must not continue to accept the INJUSTICES that the government and these companies keep bestowing upon us. If it’s war they want, it’s war they’re going to get. They may have The Colonel, but we’ve got an ARMY of soldiers who are fed up with this unpatriotic crap. Consider yourself warned, KFC, WE WILL GET OUR OLD SANDWICHES BACK!!!
PS: If anyone who is going to make the trip to Kentucky with me doesn’t have lodging yet, please message me, as I’ve got two full beds in my room and would happily go halfsies on the room.
-A concerned and hungry Patriot
EDIT: several people have asked why I don’t just take my business to the Popeye’s down the road. The answer is because even in their “Mild” they use paprika and it’s far too spicy for me.
